


Captain Swan vs the cockroach

by Skyebarry098



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Bugs, F/M, Hooks a badass, prompt, there are no cockroaches in the enchanted forest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-07-14 05:55:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7156298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyebarry098/pseuds/Skyebarry098
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: person A see's bug and screams bloody murder, person B comes in wielding a gun, asks what's wrong, sees bug and starts screaming too</p><p>(Change a bit)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Captain Swan vs the cockroach

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry I couldn't help myself, yes I am for real.

When Emma was living on the streets running away from the foster system she would always have a plan, a place to hide or a way to get food. Even if that did mean sleeping on the pavements some nights. Unfortunately for her though one peaceful enough night where she managed to get some food and find a good place to sleep it had to be near a fucking cockroach nest. She had woken up the following morning with cockroaches crawling up her arms, in her shirt and ruining her food. They were everywhere. 

Ever since that morning she had hated the little shits, and when you live on the streets for so long you'd start to get used to them. But Emma hadn't been on the streets for years now, so of course she had forgotten all about her little phobia. Until one morning where she woke up at her mum and dads place. Henry had gone to stay with Regina for the night and her parents were shopping. So she was all alone in the apartment making breakfast. When she saw it. 

In the corner of the apartment, there was not one but three fucking cockroaches. Well that was enough for her, all the horrible memories of cockroaches crawling up her came flooding back, and so did her phobia. She moved closely toward them praying that they were dead. She crouched down and to examine them. She was doing fine, they were dead she told herself repeatedly. Problem was they weren't dead. Out of nowhere one just started crawling towards here and that was enough for her. 

She didn't even think, she jumped on the counter of the apartment and screamed. At the top of her lungs, grabbing plates and throwing them at the evil cockroaches, DIE she would yell as she threw another plate at the little demons. Now it had slipped her mind that they lived in a land of magic, that here anything was possible and anyone in the building now could think she was being murdered. 

So as the dashing captain was walking up to Emma's apartment to visit her on this particularly quiet day, he instantly filled with dread as he heard the screams coming from his girlfriends apartment. He raced up the last of the stairs and didn't hesitate do bash down her door, he marched in looking for his girlfriend, waving his hook ready to take on the beast that dared mess with his love. 

But instead he found her on top of a table, screaming and throwing plates into thin air, was this monster invisible? If so how could Emma see it?, he raced over to her bracing himself for whatever was about to come, when she finally noticed his presence in the apartment. She looked at him hopefully and took a while to get her voice back after all the screaming. He was going to make whoever pay for doing this to Emma. What the pirate wasn't expecting though was this. 

"Killian thank god your here, kill them!" She demanded, pointing at the corner of the room. 

"Kill what?" He asked, now feeling confused 

"The fucking cockroaches!" She replied, pointing at the corner. 

He obeyed and headed to the corner, ignoring the be careful that Emma had shouted as he walked over to them. He marched over ready to brag about saving swan from what ever he was walking into. 

"Here I go risking my life for the woman I love and oh my fucking shit those things are huge!" He yelled 

He ran over to the counter and jumped on next to Emma, looking worried at her. Whatever those things were, he had never seen them on the Jolly Roger or even neverland. He looked at Emma worried. 

"Killian, why didn't you kill the cockroaches!" She asked in an anguished whisper, side-eyeing the little devils and shoving hook at the same time. 

"There is no way in hell I'm going near those things!, they-" he paused and his eyes widened in fear. 

"Hook, what's wrong?" She asked grabbing his face in her hands. 

"There flying!" Emma turned her head to where she last saw them and felt her heart stop. 

"They never did that on the streets!" She shrieked 

"What do you mean the streets?" Asked Killian now using his body as a shield for Emma. 

"When I was younger I lived on the streets for a while, one morning I woke up and I must have rested near a nest cause thousands of those shits were crawling on me.... I never knew they could fucking fly though!" She whispered. 

With that she handed hook a plate and he nodded, they continued to throw plates and when there was no plates they started with bowls, Killian even threw his hook at one. They were on the table for what felt like hours, screaming in union as they tried to kill the little devils. 

That was until they heard the someone yell, when they looked up Snow, David and Mr Gold were staring at them in confusion, David had his sword in his hand and even Rumpelstiltskin was there. 

"What's wrong?" He asked worried 

"Cockroaches!" They said in Union. 

"Oh hell no, if there are roaches here I'm out!" Said Mr Gold, leaving the apartment. 

"Emma?, we have been living here for 28 years now. We've seen these things, there not that bad!" Says Snow amused. 

With that charming comes back out and looks at his daughter and her boyfriend fondly, he was actually kind of pleased at this. For once his daughter was acting like a normal person or even just more like a daughter, showing fear of something. And he the dad could save here. Like how he wanted it to be before the curse. But why Hook a pirate was scared of them, he had no idea. Hell even the Dark one walked out as he heard the word. 

It was later now at grannies, Emma, Hook, David, Snow, Mr Gold and Belle were all sat in a booth. Enjoying some of the food. 

"I can't believe the saviour is afraid of cockroaches!" Says Snow, looking fondly at her daughter

"I didn't use to be, but one morning when I was living in the streets thousands were crawling up me, that triggers a phobia mom!" She complained, trying to dismiss it. 

"I guess, but what about you Hook!" Says Charming, waiting for the Pirates excuse 

Emma opened her mouth to defend him, when Mr Gold beat her to it instead! 

"Roaches are rightfully to be scared of Charming!, I was from the one part of our world were they lived!" He defended. 

"Thank you for trying to safe me at least!" Emma said, kissing her pirate on the cheek. 

"Ye I would know that-" starts Belle 

Everyone forgetting she was there for a second. 

"The Dark one over here used to scream blue murder, throwing magic at them until I got there and killed them myself...that's why he really brought me to his castle!" She explained. 

With that everyone laughed and joked about there day, pointing out things that charming is scared of for the rest of the night.

Meanwhile back in the apartment, thousand of little eggs are starting to crack open in the corner of the apartment. Cockroaches crawling out of the eggs and making there way into Snow and Charming's bed. Good night sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite!

**Author's Note:**

> The End


End file.
